Follow Ups

Yesterday was my 6wk follow up with Dr. Friedman and his dietician.  I have lost 20lbs since surgery (they were happy with that.... I am "eh...").  He said for me to keep working out at the gym even though it will mean slower weight loss. I will, and I want to... but honestly it is difficult to not just sit back and let the weight drop off first.  But, I guess being healthy is more important.  Sigh.      :)

    I was super tired yesterday so I stopped at Wendy's on the way to work and got a BLT Cobb salad.  I ate part of the chicken, some cheese and few leafs of baby spinach and romaine. No problem.  I nibbled on a little more after staff meeting and within an hour I had gas pains so bad I seriously thought I was going to have to head to the ER. I took 5 GasX strips with no relief. I walked. I sat on the toilet (sorry).   I wanted to cry.  When I finally got home, after driving doubled over the steering wheel, I tended the animals very quickly and then took a hot shower. I let it hit my cramping back and abdomen and by the time the water started running a little less warm I felt better. Mercy - no more raw leafy greens for me for a while!!

  Today I have a nagging depression.  I need to go work in the garden. I HAVE to go work in the garden, but I really just want to go back to bed.  I am going to a football game for a friend's nephew - not excited but it is hanging out with my friends so I'll go.  Tomorrow is the Humane Society's Barktoberfest, so I will be going to that as well. It is supposed to be very cool (low 50's) tonight with a high around 78 tomorrow.  Maybe after Barktoberfest I will go the Farmer's Market and then take the dogs on down to the Bluffs ... see how Rio and I handle the stairs.

 Speaking of Rio - I told them at the vet as soon as I get his knee surgery paid off I am going to drop him off on a Monday morning and not pick him up until the find out why he is lame.  It kills me to watch my 3yr old dog not able to get up off the floor.  I am so scared he will end up like my old Matilda and be in arthritic misery for the last half of his life.

What a week... it's only Wednesday!

Sunday night  I worked out at the gym so after I tended to the animals it was around 1-130 before I got to bed.   I woke up at 530 and headed out to meet Robyn so I could follow her to Jrod's golf tournament out at NAS - we met at 615, J had to be there at 7, the tourney was supposed to start at 8.  Robyn rented a golf cart and we went to Jared's 1st tee to wait for him and his group. And we waited. And waited. I think they finally got there / started around 830 or so.
   I didn't have a clue what was going on, so Robyn gave me play by plays.  It wasn't TOO hot and there was a nice breeze, lots of shade under huge old oaks dripping in Spanish Moss. It was nice.  There were jets flying over - including the Blue Angels.
Jrod said my pics are fine, but would be so much cooler if there was a jet behind him in this first pic lol
(I would be SOOOO much happier if I could figure out how to rotate the stupid pics!)



  I left the golf course when they finished at 1 (exhausted from riding on the cart for 5hrs) and went straight home to shower off , change and head out for my appointment with Jim at 2.  It was a tough one.

  I left there and made a run by Publix, home to change again and then to work.  When I got to work I felt sore and tired, but ok.  As the night went on I started feeling like a big construction worker was kicking / stomping me with his heavy work boots. Even my elbow joints hurt. My head hurt, neck and back...

  I actually left work early. I couldn't take it.   I slept fitfully all night, then had to get up and take Tvo to school.  I ran by and got chicken feed then fed them once I got home, and went back to bed. I just dozed off and on.  Tried lunch, then slept a couple of hours.  I felt better overall, but I was still achy and tired last night.

  I worked out at the gym and according to that scale I am 281 "point" something.  I slept great last night and don't feel the same pain in my joints, but I am still exhausted. I guess I need to check my protein and fluid intake, because I know they h ave to be low.

 Jim is going to a conference out of town and for the most part I am fine ... even after tough sessions.

Tomorrow I see the nutritionist and Dr. Friedman.  I hope I remember to print out my measurements to take so they can see I really am trying to work this thing.   *sigh*

Yay! Farm day!

  It has been a long time (even before surgery) since I have worked hard outside. I gave up on my garden early and the lot has grown over with grass just like it was before I started last year. Today I slept late and then started moving my landscape timbers from my front gate to the garden.  I'd only moved 1 and Tvo came over to help me plant fruit trees.   He helped me dig 2 nice holes in my parents front yard where we put the plum trees.  J-rod showed up and we came in to play Wii Fit and have lunch> I haven't seen J since before surgery!! I missed my guys.
   J left and then me and Tvo dug a hole and planted a rabbiteye blueberry bush in the extra lot where the old pecan tree was that Ivan took out.  Just as we finished, Sister showed up and took Tvo home, so we timed it out right!

   I rested  a minute, then carried some more timbers to the garden and , after laying out a layer of newspapers, I "framed" up a  raised bed garden.  I dumped about 60lbs of potting soil in and then went to get compost.  When the wheelbarrow was full I tried to move it and it wouldn't even wiggle! Now, I have lost some strength and stamina since surgery, but seriously??  I looked around and the tire was completely so flat it was warped. So THEN I had to shovel the compost into a 5 gallon bucket. I carried the first one around the fence, the next couple I set over the fence. After about 3 buckets I was able to shove the wheelbarrow over to the raised bed and finish up that way.  I still need plenty more compost / soil before I can plant, so that will probably be what I do next week if I find a day off.

  Monday morning Jrod has a golf game (18holes) , then I have a 2pm counseling appointment, then work 430-1!!! Yikes.    Thursday I go to Dr Friedman and the nutritionist. Friday help friend with vet and then out of town football game for a kid I don't even really know lol.   Saturday is the Heart Walk 5k .. folks are trying to get me to do it but I am scared to death of not being able to finish it - it is at UWF and has that monster hill at the ballpark.

  I am excited and scared to go to the surgeon's office. I haven't lost any weight really to speak of... and tehy don't do measurements.  I think I might go see the trainer again and get new measurements to take in with me, so they see I AM trying.



**Please note there are no pictures of my day. Too tired and impatient to deal with them not rotating :)  **

Rain Delays

 I had big plans today.  For the first time in at least 20yrs I was going to voluntarily step in FRONT of a camera.  I was going to trust this honor to Allison Shamrell, the pet photographer who took Buford and Rio's photos back in January.

We were going to meet this afternoon at the Bluffs and get photos on the boardwalk,  railroad tracks and bay. I took the dogs to get baths at the vet and I went shopping! True story. I even went to Dillards and had the girl at the Clinique counter put makeup on me!

*dramatic pause while you recover from fainting*

So I picked up the dogs, got my photo duds on, grabbed some toys and treats and headed into the grey horizon. And Allison called with a weather report - it was a downpour at the Bluffs. So all "did" up and nowhere to go.  Allison and I did talk about working out a plan so we can get studio photos one day and location photos another - because of my weight loss (or lack thereof... still at 13lbs).

  Having time on my hands and photos on my mind is a bad thing for poor Rio

 Of course I can't get the stupid blogger to post the pic rotated correctly , and THIS stupid blogger doesn't know how to edit the pic. grrr
 Oh well here they are anyway



Frustration and Discouragement

Saturday I spent the morning going to the 2 farmer's markets directly across town from each other. The only "farmy" stuff they had was honey and some homemade soap. I bought some rosemary mint made with honey and bees wax and grits... I like it!
  Then I went to the feedstore and to a big box DIY store and bought 2 plum trees, a lemon tree, a blueberry bush and 2 muscadine vines. I also bought some started cabbage, 2 kinds of lettuce, cauliflower, broccoli and strawberries! 
     By the time I got home it was lunch so I ate and then went to help my dad finish up the handicap lift for my mom.  I had planned to go to the Escambia Search and Rescue open house, but I was running late to go to my friend, K's house and I completely forgot to stop in.  I was so frustrated! I really want to do SAR and that was a great chance to casually get info.
  
   At K's house we played games, played with her G Dane puppy and had burgers (I had 1/2 a patty with some cheese and a little mayo / mustard, 1/2 an onion ring and later about 2 Tbs of NSA banana pudding).  I was late getting home and tending to the animals so I just slept in and skipped church.

  Sunday after work I went to the gym and weighed in.... back to 287!!!! I gained 5lbs!! Only I can gain 5lbs after weight loss surgery!  I worked out and went home, disgusted and tired.

  Monday I went in to work early so I could talk to my manager about a contest for the branch, and I stayed until 1, my regular leave time.  I worked out at the gym and actually had enough energy to finish a little workout that had me sweating some. The last few weeks I wore out before I even broke a sweat.  Maybe there is hope of getting my endurance and strength back. Even if I'm not losing weight    *grrrr*

  I also ordered my horse trailer yesterday.  It is being built by a company in Crestview and he has said it will be done in time for the October trail ride.

  Today I was supposed to take Rio to the vet to have his knees checked AGAIN... but I cancelled. I don't see the point in taking him, spending money on an exam and either A) them saying nothing is wrong  or B) they actually find what is wrong, but I don't have the money to get it fixed.
    When I was out feeding the chickens and rabbits, I sent Rio into the horsetrailer / shed to entertain himself... and he did! He found a big , fat shiny rat that had been livign happily on my spilled feed and bags of sunflower and grass seeds!!  He died happy and full.

  Tomorrow I am going to visit Buddy. I have no idea when he is coming home.. his 30 days are way up and I have no intention on paying more than that.   Then on Friday I am taking Rio and Rags to get baths at the vet and then meeting Allison Shamrell Photography out at the bluffs for photos. I am even going to TRY to look decent myself so I can have some photos with Rio.   (another frustration with not losing weight)

Next week I am going to one of J-rod's golf matches. It will be the first time I have seen him since before surgery over a month ago.  :(
 Also next week is follow up with the surgeon - maybe if I am still at 11-13 lbs he will help me.... or maybe it is just the way things are going to be for me.  Typical.


Maybe it is just a melancholy kind of day.... today, I miss Buford and wish I could cuddle his sweet old face.

Good Day!

So today has been a good day so far. I would guess that not being at work in the midst of the drama happening there right now is probably part of it. I LOVE my job, but this week has been really tough.

 Anyway, on to the good stuff.

I was really tired / drained last night, so I didn't workout. I tried hard to not feel guilty about it, and for the most part I succeeded.   I slept well and then got up early to go meet with the trainer.  We redid my measurements and weight. I won't update my ticker until I weight at Dr. Friedman's, but according to this scale (which I have been using and it runs close to the surgeon's) I have lost 5lbs since Tuesday night.  Maybe there is something to getting my fluids and extra protein in  :)

 After I weighed, I sat down to put on my shoes -not even noticing the arms on the chair.  I bent over and pulled on my left shoe and sock.  Then, as I was tying the shoe on my right foot I had a shocking, almost tear inducing realization -  I had my right foot propped on my left knee so I could put on my shoe. I haven't done that in many years! I told the trainer I needed just a minute.... WOW.

   Then we went into the assessment room  and she did my measurements.  I'll list them July, August and today.          

 Forearm -July   -  13.5
August - 13.5
September - 12.75

Arm (upper) -
July -  21.0
August- 20.75
Sept    - 20.00

Chest -
July -  52.5
August - 51.0
Sept  - 47.75

Waist -
July -  47.75
August - 47.0
Sept - 43.0

Abdomen -
July -  47.0
August - 47.0
Sept - 45.5

Hips
July - 60  (I actually don't think the 60" measuring tape went all the way around, she was being nice)August - 58.75
Sept  - 56.0

Thigh -
July -  35.0
August - 35.0
Sept  - 33.25

Calf -
July - 22.5
August - 22.0
Sept  - 21.25



A Smile for the day

So overall I am very pleased! A total of 17lbs and several inches in very happy places.

The trainer did give me a fair warning about when I come back to workout.... she said she has some workouts already planned out for me!!  She said one is to do the stairwells, and at the top landing do pushups on the rails, then down, back up, pushups.
 I told her we may be looking at November before I go back AHAHAHA

  I don't know what we are going to do with my mom's lift. I can do the actual work, but I need my dad to tell me WHAT to do and he doesn't seem to really be buying into the lift thing.
   I have a lot of my "farm" chores to do ... I had some seeds come in for cool weather planting.  My garden lot has been very neglected so I am going to make containers and raised beds.  I also have chickens and rabbits to start getting ready for cooler weather.  My little Buddy horse should be coming back from the trainer next week. I sent her a text but haven't heard back from her.  I'll be working on his stall and the feed / hay room at some point (Buddy can open all of the gates and doors).  The Fair is coming up the end of October... that might present some food challenges because I am used to a philly cheesesteak and fried oreos.... and / or a funnel cake.

Regardless.... I LOVE this time of year

 I talked to my counselor about the Search and Rescue open house this weekend.  He suggested I go just as a member of the community interested in what they do, rather than someone interested in joining. He said that way it is non-threatening, I don't have to worry about them judging me as unfit for volunteering, and I can still get info and such. 

I hate logical people.  HAHA

More Catching Up

 September 11, 2001.  I was driving home from an overnight shift at work, stopped at a traffic light when the DJs said "apparently there has been an accident, a small bi-plane has hit the World Trade Center". I went on home and to bed before they learned the truth.

Those words would later haunt me as I watched rolling news footage of the hijacked airliners crashing into the World Trade Center towers, the rubble of the Pentagon, and the smoking field in Pennsylvania.
This year is the 10th "anniversary" of the attacks. I can remember the  "we're in it together" feeling in '01, compared to the "it's all about me" of today.  The Congress singing "God Bless America" on the Capitol steps, vs it being illegal for a teacher to have a Bible in school.  The times have changed, and I am not convinced it is for the better. Maybe that is the real reason we have avoided terrorist attacks - they hate us for freedom and we are losing it (mandatory healthcare insurance) and they hate us for Jesus - and we have abandoned Him for the god of ourselves.

Work is all drama all the time. It isn't fun anymore, but I still love my job and believe things will settle down at some point.  I hope.

   I have lost about 13lbs.  Kind of ridiculous considering I am just over 4wks out from surgery, but I went to support group Tuesday night and Dr. Friedman said to not worry about it. He said since I am working out I shouldn't even be stepping on the scale because my measurements are what will change most.  I am not sure I am ok with that.... weight is what has to change for me to ride Buddy, to stop worrying about if a chair will hold me, to not have a panic attack if J-Rod wants to show off by picking me up.  
  Mostly it is my fault, I am not getting in even close to 64oz of fluids because drinking makes me nauseous.  I need to just suck it up and get my fluids in.  I also am not getting enough protein.  I might get 60grms some days, but the nutritionist said since I am in the gym I should be getting around 80.  So, I ordered $100 worth of protein shake stuff.  I think the ready-to-drink kind are best for me since I don't like to stop long enough to mix one up.
   I went Monday and bought "real" running shoes.  They are comfortable enough when I am working out, but my feet hurt in the morning.  *shrug* They were $107 so I will just have to suck that up too.
  This week I started increasing the weights on my strength training. I feel so weak and I have NO endurance at all. I guess that is needing the protein.... but it is frustrating and discouraging.

   This past Friday my super-morbidly-obese mom fell in the van. We drove to the fire department and they helped her up. Saturday she couldn't stand on her own at all and only for a few seconds with help, then her knees would collapse.  We called an ambulance and after one regular unit showed up, they called the bariatric ambulance - with its big framed stretcher, ramps and winch for loading the patient. I don't want to be there.
  Anyway, the doctor said she has pretty much zero  joint space in her knees because of all the arthritis. She gave my mom shots in each knee.  My mom has been doing better, but the steroids knocked her diabetes into a tailspin (I don't want to be there).   I ordered a lift for her to go in the pool.  I am hoping and praying it will work and has a long enough reach to get her out. We'll try it out a few times before she goes in. Hopefully we'll get that in this weekend.

Tomorrow I go to get measurements with the trainer at work. I'll try to remember to update them here.

Labor Day

 Today has been a relatively easy day.   I slept late and stayed around my folks house most of the day.  I even had some pureed rib meat w/o BBQ sauce.  hehe
  I went to the gym and walked on the treadmill for about 30min, ending up about 1.25 miles.  I did pushups on the weightbar and plank pulls too. Then I used 5 lb weights for concentrated bicep curls, overhead tricep and lateral raises. Then I did .75 miles on the bike for a cooldown.

  After the gym I headed to Publix for vitamins, Mio water flavoring and Greek yogurt.  I left $140 later!!! I did get some more vitamin c, some liquid calcium (that may not work for me), some biotin (hair help), eggs, and other stuff.

I told myself I wasn't going to weigh except at Dr. Friedman's but I did.... I have only lost 8 lbs since surgery almost 3 weeks ago - and this is the stage (3 wks post op) where people hit stalls. I have to step up  my protein, calorie and water intake.  I bought some ready to drink protein at Publix so maybe I will do better about getting started with protein in the morning.  And it will count towards my liquids.


  This afternoon I had to seperate the dwarf rabbits... Oops was being a little aggressive.  I need to get them scheduled to visit the vet for neutering, hopefully they would be able to stay together after that.

Rio isn't doing real well as far as his knees are concerned. Saturday night he and Rags chased down a 'possum and attacked it. I called them off  - the possum was ok, Rio is not. Sometimes he just barely sets his left toes on the ground. He seems lame on the right knee as well. I am really worried about him, he is too young to have all of these problems.   If he is still lame tomorrow I will have to reschedule him with either the surgeon or Dr. Coy and get him checked out.   Lots of $$ going there, and he is still hurting. Makes me angry and sad.



I have a ton of things I want / need to buy:
horse trailer, pool lift for my mom, Rio another surgery, rabbits neutered.....

I was able to wear some of the jeans S gave me, and as the day went on and they stretched out they were too big.  I can't quite get into the next size down so I don't know what to do. I guess the one pair of dress type pants that fit I will wear all week lol. I have been looking at an equestrian website and still just can't buy into me being able to wear clothes from a regular store like that (especially at 8lbs lost).
 I really really want to go to the charity tril ride for the horse assistance council in October. I would take Buddy just to expose him to the activity and I would dream of fitting in... and of being able to buy a T-shirt without the lady looking at me like I had 3 heads like she did last year.

Ok... tired and sore, gotta take T-vo  to school in the morning so I need to go to bed.

Hello? (hello...helllo...helllo)

Ok... ok... I haven't been here but I have been blogging at obesityhelp.com under LJ1972, so I can catch up there.
   The short story - had problem free RNY Gastric bypass surgery at 0730 on Tusday, August 16.  I was up walking in less than 2hrs and had zero problems.  Dr. Friedman (and the nurses, and my visitors) said I didn't even look like I'd had surgery - no bent over in pain walking (except when my drain started hurting me Wednesday night), no paleness or dark shadows under my eyes, no nausea or unexplainable pain (as in, no pain that wasn't caused by outside forces - drain, driving over railroad tracks, etc).  On the day after my 1 week post-op I walked a mile, did the same the next day.
  Post-op followup with Dr. Friedman was uneventful - he was pleased with my progress and told me he would release me to general activity and gym workouts. He said to use good judgement and common sense as far as what to do - if it caused discomfort or pain to stop.
    Of course, I am too stubborn to admit I need rest after surgery so I have done too much. No pain, no soreness or issues, but just taking too much energy being taken away from healing because I am doing so much.  Had a reality check from my counselor who scolded me for the first time in the years I have been seeing him, and also someone online. They reminded me the first month my body is concentrating on healing from the trauma of major surgery and any extra energy I use working out is being taken away from the healing process.  Soo I am resting a little more.  It does feel good because I have spent the last week exhausted.
   I am also having to work on getting my water and protein in. It is so hard to remember without an appetite.

Today we have Tropical Storm Lee out in the Gulf. It is headed to Louisiana but we are expecting lots of rain and wind.  Right now it is just a steady light rain and occasional breeze.

  "Farm" notes"
The "woosters" have hit puberty so I have them in the old meatie run and Pat has the run of the backyard. I don't mind her being out there but it isn't ideal for her safety.  My friend gave me a nice rabbit hutch with a big house attached so yesterday my dad helped me divide the inside of the house in half so I can make a nesting area for Pat.  I just need to put up a some fencing to make her a small pen. I am also going to fence under the hutch - I put a platform of privacy fence panel underneath in case she is more inclined to go there in hot weather.
  The dwarf rabbits (Cheeto and Oops) are in the new hutch and Bon, the big rabbit , is in the cage my dad made for me. It is under the shelter in the meatie pen

   The day before surgery I sent Buddy off for 30 days of training.  I wish I had asked for more than just ground training, but I guess I need to start slow for both of our sakes. Trainer says he is smart and willing, and she is going to teach me to work with him.  Hopefully he will grow some more so I can ride him after he is 3 and trained (April at least).  I really really want to take him to the charity trail ride for the Horse Assistance Council, even though I can't ride him.  I think the exposure to the new environment (woods) and all of the activity would be good for him.  And I can wear jeans now and probably even fit into one of the Tshirts.  Non-Scale victory #1??

    Before surgery I worked out with CM - the trainer at the gym at work. She busted me up! IT was awesome!  I have 7 paid for sessions waiting for me once I get some energy and endurance back- probably October . I want her to help get me ready to RUN a 5k in the spring. Crazy huh?
 I am also trying to work up my nerve to go to the Escambia Search and Rescue membership meeting.... but I don't have anything to offer right now except just me.  *sigh*

Anyway... lots going on, lots of "hope" on the horizon.  I am ready to live life.   At least... I think I am.